Broken hearted

I see the stories of school shooting after school shooting and I am so broken hearted. My heart hurts for the students that lose their lives. I hurt for the teachers that lose their lives. I hurt for all of the families and friends left to try and make sense of the violence.

I also hurt for the medical personnel that have to see the victims. The medics and EMT’s that are some of the first on scene. I hurt for the ER docs and nurses that do everything they can but still aren’t able to save all their patients. I hurt for the ICU, step down, and floor nurses that care for the ones that do survive.

You all were a part of the school shooting too. Yet, you have to put away your thoughts and feelings, your hurt and pain because there are other patients to take care of.

I thank you for your strength. I thank you for being able to endure through Hell. I thank you for going through it and still coming back to work the next day.

You are amazing.

I just wish you didn’t have to be.

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On my own

This was my last week of orientation in MRI nursing. Starting Monday I’ll be on my own.

I’m nervous.

It’s not that I don’t think I can do the job. Compared to getting my ass handed to me in the STICU, this is going to be somewhat less stressful. It’s the fact that procedural nursing is new for me. I’ve been bedside for 8 years now. I’ve always been in charge of the patient because they were “mine”. Now I’m dealing mostly with outpatients. I also deal with kids. As you all know, I don’t do kids, they make me uncomfortable. I will still have inpatient contact but while I am responsible for their safety while in MRI, they aren’t mine. I have to remember that my contact with them is as a MRI nurse and not as their primary nurse.

That’s a little weird for me.

It’s also kind of nice. Patient being a douche? I can send them on their way. Patient too confused to hold still for the MRI? Back to the unit for you buddy.

Not going to lie, it’s fabulous not going home with back pain everyday.

I think I’m going to like finally being on my own, you know, once I get over the initial shock of it.

PALS is not my pal…

I took PALS this week. If you aren’t familiar with that acronym it stands for Pediatric Advanced Life Support. It’s ACLS for kids.

I don’t like kids.

I don’t want to work with kids.

Thanks to my new job, I occasionally work with kids.

I’m in MRI now and I have contact with individuals of all ages from one week old to 99 year olds. This is new to me. I’ve worked with adults my entire career. That’s been on purpose. I don’t like kids and I don’t know what to do with them. Everything dealing with pediatrics is intimidating to me and I commend all of you pediatric nurses.

Honestly, it’s the math. I SUCK AT MATH!

EVERYTHING with kids is weight based and that just throws me off. Everything I’ve learned in PALS involves the weight of the child as a basis for how to treat. With adults it’s typically a general dose. Don’t get me wrong, there are some weight based meds for adults but typically a miscalculation isn’t going to kill them quite as quickly as it could a child. Children are so much more fragile and I’m afraid I’m going to do far more damage to a sick child. I couldn’t live with myself if my poor math skills resulted in the death of a child. I’m just going to keep my hands off.

So why was I sitting in a PALS class?

It’s mandatory for me. Radiology nursing is considered “progressive care” and we are required to have PALS and ACLS since I come in contact with all ages. We do sedation on our claustrophobic patients and recover them afterwards so the potential for an emergency is absolutely there. I mean, I needed the class. I learned quite a bit. I had no idea just how different it is caring for a child when compared to adults. I now feel a little more prepared to handle a pediatric emergency. I will probably still freak out completely but at least I will know what to do if someone can calm me down.

PALS made me realize I will never be a pediatric nurse. Rock on pediatric nurses, rock on!

So you have to send your patient to MRI…

So your patient needs an MRI. Maybe you can just send them down with transport, maybe you have to come down with them. Here are 10 tidbits to help make it easier or yourself and us.

  1. THE MAGNET IS ALWAYS ON. ALWAYS. 
  2. Because of #1, don’t bring anything you don’t need on your person. Majority of what you carry is not MRI compatible and you’re going to have to leave it somewhere away from the MRI room anyway.
  3. Also, don’t leave anything on your patient that they don’t need. The 4 blankets? Yeah, let’s consolidate that. The SCD’s? Leave those in the room. The stickers from their morning EKG? Take those off, they aren’t MRI safe. No, your patient can’t bring his/her phone with them. Your patient will need to be moved off of the hospital bed and onto the MRI safe stretcher, let’s make this easy on everyone.
  4. Coming down with your patient? Understand that you aren’t just going to walk into the MRI room when you get downstairs. You may be in a rush, we aren’t. Safety is our number one priority. We have to make sure you don’t have anything unsafe on you and we have to check the patient for the same reason.
  5. ICU nurses please note: your ECG leads and pulse ox are coming off once you get here so be prepared to replace those. We have our own MRI compatible monitoring equipment, your patient will be monitored using our stuff not yours.
  6. Take a look at what IV fluids you have hanging, are they necessary? Your IV pump is not compatible with the MRI machine. No, seriously, it’s not. You are probably going to have to add like 30 feet of extension tubing to your drips unless your hospital has the MRI safe pumps and there aren’t many hospitals that have them. Do you really need to bring the patient down on normal saline? Really? Can the TPN and lipids be paused for 30 minutes to an hour? Thinking of this while you are still on the unit is going to make the transition much easier. ICU nurses, take note because we are notorious for bringing down drips that could really be paused for this test. I’m not saying be unsafe to make it easier, just use your judgment.
  7. The magnet of the MRI interferes with the ECG monitor, you are NOT going to get a good rhythm while your patient is in the scanner. This, in particular, applies to my ICU nurses. Please understand that there is nothing we can do about that. The monitor is wireless and whenever the magnet begins scanning it disrupts the signal so the rhythm that we see on the monitor is garbage. In between scans you will see a normal rhythm but once the technologist begins the next part of the study you are going to see nothing but artifact. If your patient has been having unstable arrhythmias you may want to speak with your docs about the risk/benefits of coming down for the scan. You may want to wait until you can trust that they aren’t going to jump into some funky heart rhythm during the scan. That MRI of the foot can wait.
  8. Pacemakers no longer exclude a patient from having an MRI. It used to be having a pacemaker was an automatic “no”. That has since changed. There are now MRI conditional pacemakers and we are now scanning patients with MRI non-conditional pacemakers. That being said, let your physician know that an MRI on a patient with a pacemaker is NOT going to happen the day it’s ordered. Many steps have to be taken to assure we do this in the safest manner possible. We need paperwork from whatever company manufactured the pacemaker. We then have to set it up so that a technologist from the company can be there to put the pacemaker in “MRI-safe” mode.
  9. FYI: MRI safe mode does NOT mean we turn the pacemaker off for the scan! This was something I was not aware off until I became a radiology nurse. It’s the exact opposite. The pacemaker mode is actually changed from pacing only when needed to pacing continuously at a set rate determined by the doctors and set by the technologist from the company.
  10. Do not send your patient down if they are claustrophobic, altered, or in pain unless you have a plan. For a successful MRI, the patient MUST lie still for the ENTIRETY of the scan. If they move, that section of the scan must be restarted FROM THE BEGINNING! If you know they are claustrophobic, ask for something to help calm them. If they are altered and can’t hold still, ask for a sedative of some sort or reschedule. If they are in pain, please premedicate them. The MRI table is hard and uncomfortable, your patient won’t be able to tolerate the scan if they are already in pain.

Hopefully these 10 tidbits of info make your trip to MRI a tiny bit easier.

Humbled

Since I have become a radiology nurse I have witnessed something that has humbled me; cancer patients and the infallible strength that they have.

My role in radiology is different from my role as a bedside nurse. I am still responsible for patient safety and care but in a more indirect way. I monitor the patients during their MRI’s and I am the one that starts the IV’s before the study begins. I encounter a lot of oncology patients. In fact, I would say almost 90% of my patients some days are getting scanned to assess for metastasis, diagnose new cancer, or stage some form of cancer. These are people from all walks of life. All races, all statuses, all religions, all education levels, all ages, cancer does not discriminate.

What has humbled me is their attitudes. Almost every cancer patient I have come in contact with in my department has had a bright smile and a sunny personality. Most of them come in with the mindset that they have another battle to fight and they are going to win it. I love that! Their smile makes me smile. We end up joking and laughing during our time with each other. These are people that are getting a procedure that could potentially present more bad news and yet they walk around with a smile. I wake up bitching and moaning in the morning about having to get up so early. I complain about my knees being stiff or my back causing me pain. I rarely wake up and just thank God for being alive and being *relatively* healthy. I am going to make a real effort to try and change that. If these oncology patients can still tackle life with such vibrancy then why can’t I? Every day that I am alive is a blessing. Every day that I am blessed to not have to experience the things that these wonderful patients are having to go through on a daily basis is a gift. I am humbled yet inspired by the strength and positivity these patients demonstrate. I’m going to live for them.

Full circle

I started working in a hospital on my birthday in 2007. In this particular hospital, there were two separate transportation teams. One did regular transports and discharges and the other only did transports to and from radiology departments. I started as a transporter in the radiology department. The hospital offered a free EMT-B course, all you had to do was pass. Of course I took up that offer! I transported for over a year and in the process started nursing school. That’s when I decided to become a tech. After graduation, I worked on that unit (med-surg) for two years. I hated it. I am not a med-surg nurse. I got frustrated very quickly with all the frequent flyers. I felt like I wasn’t making a difference. No matter how much teaching I did I knew I would see those patients in a month, maybe two. So I left the hospital to take an ICU position in a smaller hospital. It was hell for me to go from a teaching hospital where I was autonomous and a part of the care team to a community hospital where I was supposed to just do what I was told. Yeah, no. They got two years out of me as well before I took an ICU position in another teaching hospital. I loved it. I learned so much and got to be a part of things I had never experienced before. The only drawback was the commute. An hour and a half one way, and I was working night shift.  I managed to pull this off for three years. I kept telling myself I would move closer to the hospital but I never did. I love the city I live in right now. I love the diversity, something that was lacking in the area that particular hospital was in. So, I started the job search again. Guess what hospital and what department were in need of a nurse? Yep, my first hospital and the opening was in radiology! I jumped at the chance and luckily got the position.

Its been a bit surreal. Being back in the radiology department feels familiar and new at the same time. Most of the radiology techs and nurses were there when I first started. They remember me as a transporter from 11 years ago. Now here I am in their department as a clin 2 nurse! I’ve come full circle.  I am getting used to being the new kid without actually being a new kid. Maybe, just maybe this is where I was supposed to be all along…

 

Job hopping

How long do you typically stay in a position in your nursing career? For me, I have had every nursing job (just started my fourth one) for at least two years. Two years gives me a broad view of my position and allows me to decide if this is what I want to do and is there where I want to do it.

I’m sure there are some of you reading this and thinking “two years is a long time to figure out if you want to be where you are!” For me, not really (keywords: for me). I feel like the first year I am trying to become proficient in my job. I’m the new kid, I am learning how things are done here and establishing my own routine. Essentially, I am getting into my groove.  I learned that when I am the “new kid” I get frustrated and irritated easily and often times blame the job. I go through the “I don’t like this job” phase, not because the environment is bad but because I am not great in the environment and I can be a bit of a perfectionist. That second year is when I am really evaluating my job. By the second year, I am good at what I do. I know my skills, I have my routine, I know this place. I know my coworkers. I know my doctors. I know what type of patients I will see on a consistent basis. I know how the hospital works. I am typically in some sort of leadership role by the second year. This is the point where I can take an objective look at where I am and whether I want to continue. Do I really hate this job? Is it the people? The environment? Do I not enjoy this patient population? Am I burnt out? I feel like I can really make a less biased observation at this point. My “two-year” thing is not something I expect other people to embrace. I do feel like one year on the job is enough for some people to figure out if they like what they are doing. And let’s be honest, those of us that have had more than one job can think of one place that we have worked where we knew we were in the wrong place before we hit that first year!

What I wonder is how soon is too soon to bounce to the next job? I have some nursing friends that have had several jobs in the same amount of time that I have been in one place of employment. Experience-wise, I would assume that it looks great to a potential employer. I mean, this person looks like they know a little about everything. However, I also wonder if having several jobs for a short amount of time makes a person look like a job hopper? Do some hiring managers see this as a “red flag”? Would a manager want to invest in an employee that may leave quickly? I have asked a few people that were or are responsible for new employees and they each said that they look for a year at least.

So if I have any hiring managers reading this: what are you looking for? How soon is too soon to go from one job to the next? Do you even pay attention to how long we are in a position?

“It’s ok, we’ve got it”

I don’t trust this phrase whenever it comes to my patient any other medical professional or anyone for that matter.

Why?

Because I’ve seen it come back to bite people.

The patient needs to go to the bathroom, you go in to help. The family says “it’s ok, we’ve got it”… Annnnnnnnd your patient is on the floor.

They want to place a central line at the bedside so you go in to assist. The fellow tells you “I’ve got my med students so it’s ok we’ve got it” annnnnnnnd then they proceed to place a femoral central line in the right subclavian because the student didn’t know the difference between the kits (this is a true story).

X-ray comes in for the morning film and needs to reposition the patient, you offer to help. They tell you “it’s ok I’ve got it” annnnnnnnd now your IV is ripped out and on the floor.

As far as I’m concerned, you don’t “got it”. Don’t you touch my patient without me being there. I’m going to help whether you like it or not. I do NOT have time to fill out safety events. I’m probably not even done with my regular charting.

It’s ok, I’ve got it.

Log off

Log off of your computer, nurse!

I know you’re just going to go into the room of your patient for a few minutes. I understand that you just need to go to the pyxis and grab one more med. Log off.

You have very personal information about your patient visible for anyone to see. EVS, the random med student, the family member/friend in the room (for those of you with bedside computers), they can all see this very personal information.

How would you feel if one of your friends found out that you tested positive for opioids on admission because your nurse left your labs open on the computer in your room? You’re sedated and intubated so you can’t remind the nurse to protect your personal information.

Doesn’t sound fun does it?

Your patient and their information deserve that same respect.

Even more importantly, it’s law. You have been given the responsibility to maintain patient privacy and you should take it very seriously. You’ve heard of HIPAA. You know just how important it is. Understand just how serious it is to your medical facility. Nurses have been written up, suspended, even fired over HIPAA violations.

Don’t be that nurse.

Get into the habit of logging of when you walk away from your workstation. It may seem tedious but it is your duty to protect that information.

97 victims

Most of us entered nursing to heal, to help, to try and save lives whenever we can. There are some people in our field that have joined for all the wrong reasons. One such person is Niel Högel.

I came across an NPR article (click to link to the story) about a German nurse that was serving a life sentence for two murders… They believe he may be responsible 97 more. NINETY SEVEN.

He said he did it for the thrill. He enjoyed the feeling of being the hero after resuscitating the patient. Unfortunately he wasn’t always successful. Patients lost their lives for a thrill.

As a nurse and former EMT, I will say providing care in the most critical time does give you an adrenaline rush. You get to a point of functioning on sheer instinct. That sense of accomplishment can really make your day. However, I have never craved that feeling so much that I thought of harming a patient to achieve it. I don’t know what brings someone to that point. When reading his story I wondered, did he become a nurse to pseudo-save lives or did this need develop as his career progressed? Were there warning signs in his outside life? Were there warning signs at the bedside? How many lives could have been saved? I just can’t wrap my head around it.