Had my follow up appointment for my back today. The MRI shows I definitely herniated a disc between the lumbar/sacral region. No nerve involvement so no surgery. Yet. However, if the disc continues to degrade then surgery is where we are headed.
So now this puts me in a weird mental space. Do I continue being a bedside nurse, knowing that I’m going to potentially hurt my back more, or is it time for that cushy office job where I’m not pulling patients? I love direct patient care. I love being at the bedside. My back, however, is not in agreement. I’m a trauma nurse, I’m going to be pulling and tugging. It’s inevitable. My coworkers have been AMAZING at trying to help me out when they see my back is causing me pain. They opt to take the “pulling side” when we turn so I don’t have to strain myself. They put me at the head of the bed holding c-spine so I’m not having to do a whole lot. They have really “had my back” so to speak.
But it’s not fair to them. They shouldn’t have to potentially hurt themselves so I don’t hurt my self any further. I’m starting to feel like a burden. I don’t like that.
So now it’s time to make some big decisions…