I’m fat. I don’t say this to elicit responses of “aw don’t say that!” or “you’re thick, not fat!”. No. I say this because it is what it is. I am about 50 pounds overweight. Forget the BMI. I will always be borderline obese unless I get down to a weight that I am not comfortable with. I have hit a weight in which it has become uncomfortable. I have hit a weight that affects my work. I can’t walk up a flight of stairs. My knees hurt. My scrubs are all tight in the thighs and they are all a large at least. Don’t get me started on trying to do CPR. Two minutes of chest compressions and I am about to die. I’m telling the patient to participate in physical therapy while looking like I need it too. I’m 34. That’s not ok.
I know when all of this started. My back got really bad last year stemming from an old work-related injury. Being the hard-headed nurse that I am, I ignored it until I couldn’t ignore it anymore. My coworkers, who have been awesome at helping me not stress my back anymore, convinced me to go see an orthopedic doc. I finally did in October of 2017. Several appointments and a bilateral L4,5 and S1 denervation later, I finally feel like myself again. The back pain has decreased dramatically. So now I have no excuse. I used to go to the gym regularly to destress. I am going back. I still have my gym membership and dammit it’s time I use it!
I want to be the nurse that can grab the code cart and not need a breathing treatment by the time I get it to the room. Not cute…
I am giving myself six months to drop these 50 pounds. I’m realistic. I know if I try to give myself too short of a timeline I will get discouraged. I want to be a healthy nurse again. My patients deserve me at my best.