We have all worked with that one nurse that is almost but not quite on time. You know the one, they come in about 5-10 minutes late, they still need to go put all their stuff away, they still need to get their coffee (or they come in with their Starbucks cup and now you know why they are late), they need to get their report sheet, they stop and talk to other people, and they need a moment to complain about their assignment. It’s like 7:15 before they get to you. Meanwhile, you just had the shift from Hell, missed lunch because your patient couldn’t decide if they were ready to die or not, and you just want to go home.

That nurse drives me nuts!

I hate being late to work (though I am late just about anywhere else) because I know someone is waiting for me to arrive. I just think it’s rude. I do understand, however, that crap happens and sometimes being on time is just not on the menu that day. I get it, really I do. But that one nurse that can never seem to make it on time? Yeah, I don’t get that. I also don’t understand how they can walk in late and then still take their time getting report!

Yeah, no.

There are ways to deal with nurses like that.

When I knew I would be giving report to a certain nurse I would go ahead and write my report out. I mean, I would write a report that my nursing instructor would be proud of. As soon as they came rolling in (10 minutes late of course) I would catch them. “Hey I wrote out my report, I will be in the break room getting my stuff if you have any questions.” This was typically met with a blank stare but I really didn’t care. Now, I didn’t do this with every nurse that was running late, just the one(s) that I know are like the one I described above. I dont have time for the foolishness!

If I didn’t write out report I still caught them as soon as they made it onto the floor. No they aren’t stopping and talking to another nurse. No they aren’t going to stand and complain about their assignment. No I don’t want to hear about why they were late (yet again) this time. Not today buddy! When they hit that floor they are ready to go in my eyes and I am walking up, cutting right into whatever nonsense conversation they are having, and letting them know I am ready to give report. Glare, stare, I don’t care. I am done with my shift and it’s time for me to go.

If you are that nurse, the one that strolls in late and then takes your time coming to get report, I hope you finally get written up. I hope one of your tires is flat when you get off work. I hope Starbucks runs out of every flavor of coffee that you like. I hope that your patient has to has every scan possible and you have to travel from procedure to procedure all day. I hope your new admision is a hot mess.

Oh, and I am not back so you are going to have to give report to a whole new person…

Yep, I’m petty like that.