April 1st

It’s coming.

April 1st.

No, I am not worried about April Fools Day.

I start graduate school. I make that first step towards my Master’s degree. I take that big leap back into school.

I. Am. Terrified. I don’t know why. I feel like I’m not ready. I feel like I have gotten myself in over my head. I feel like I am not good enough for this. I know this is my anxiety talking. This isn’t my first time dealing with the panic and self doubt that comes with anxiety. Anxiety stopped me from going back to school before now. Anxiety almost stopped me from taking the job I have now. Anxiety has awoken me from my sleep with my heart racing for absolutely no reason. True anxiety is no joke. It’s not easy for me to admit that I deal with depression and anxiety. I am the nurse that has it all together. I am the nurse that other nurses vent to. I am the nurse running a blog giving advise to other nurses. I am the nurse that has mental health issues.

I am not going to let anxiety win though. Yeah, I am scared sh*tless, I won’t lie. I feel like I might have made a mistake. However, I am still going to log into my student portal on April 1st and begin looking over my first assignment. I am the nurse that is going to have her Master’s in two years because I am the nurse that refuses to give up.

10 thoughts on “April 1st

  1. Okay, Fred! I know how anxiety can interfere with rational thinking. Look how well you are doing in your new job! You’ll do well in your studies too! There may be an anxious start like I had after I got my first assignment back covered with red marks. It was a research paper and I had no idea how to do it…but, I learned very fast and loved the beginning course. Many of the master degree classes were research based, and the clinical work (NP) was fast learning and exciting. Let us know how you are doing. You can count on support from me, anytime! 📚 Christine

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  2. Good luck to you! What are you going to major in? I’m currently working on my CSN certification, which is graduate level work, and then will finish with a masters in Public Health. It is very disconcerting at first, but you will be fine!

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    1. I’m going back to school for my masters in nursing education. I want to teach nursing students one day! I’m excited and terrified but I’m going for it! Good luck in your program too!

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