Arch nemesis

Classes have started for me. In fact, I’ve already completed one class. I’m liking the program so far but my fight with my old arch nemesis has reignited:

APA formatting 😒😐

I despise APA. I don’t even understand its point. Margins of this size, very particular page headers, citations that are done *just* so, reference pages with indentions done differently than the actual paper, references sited differently depending on what they are…

Why can’t I just write this damn paper and send it in?!

I get that APA formatting is to help maintain consistancy with how research is published and readability. What I don’t understand is why make it so damn complicated? It almost feels like the creators made it complicated because it made them feel smart.

I hate it.

APA has always been a thorn in my side. I’ve never been very good at it. I find the rules convoluted.

As you can see, I’m already over it…

Advertisements

Unnecessary

I almost lost my temper.

One of the anesthesiologist does NOT know how to talk to people.

It feels like she is being condescending at all times. I get it, you’re a doctor. I respect that. However, it’s totally unnecessary to speak to people in that manner. I am a nurse. If you talk to me instead of at me you would know I have plenty of nursing experience. I know quite a bit more than you give me credit for. I am fully capable of the tasks that are required of me during this anesthesia case. I can do whatever you need if you just ask. Contrary to popular belief, nurses don’t read minds.

I’ll say this, she has one more time to speak in her condescending tone. One more. While I am going to be professional and respectful, I’m going to put her in her place. I’ve had to do it with plenty of residents and a few attendings. This isn’t new for me, I know how to get my point across. She needs to be knocked off the pedestal she placed herself on… I’m just the one to do it.

I’m a nurse, and the worst patient

I am a nurse. I am very proud of that, I mean, I have a whole blog dedicated to being a nurse!

However, I am the worst patient.

Lately I have had to be a patient far more than I want to be. (Here is a link to my blog post on why I have had to be a patient frequently.)

I don’t know how to stop being a nurse and sit back and be the patient. I don’t know how to shut up and listen. I want to talk. I want to tell the doctor what I know. I want to be in charge of my care. I want to be the nurse.

I don’t like not running the show when it comes to my own care. However, this situation is aggravated by the fact that I don’t even know what is going on with my health. I feel completely helpless… and humble. I now understand the fear my patients have when they are coming to get scanned. As you all know, I work in radiology and a majority of the patients I work up are there to get scans to either see if they have cancer or to see if their cancer has spread. They are coming in dealing with the unknown. The fear, the anger, the tears, the blank stares, I understand why my patients exhibit so many emotions. It’s the unknown. I am going through it now and I am pretty sure I have gone through a lot of those emotions. I am blessed to not have cancer but having to go from seeing a family doctor, to a pain specialist, and now to neurologist, all because I have spreading neuropathy is scary. I don’t know what is wrong with me and as a nurse that drives me nuts.

I am a nurse, I help people get as healthy as they can. My job is to literally fix people and yet here I sit unable to fix myself because I don’t even know what’s wrong. I feel so helpless. I want someone to say “This is what is wrong and this is how we fix it”. I want to fix myself like I fix everyone else. I want to nurse myself back to health.

I don’t even know where to begin so friends I ask: do you have any suggestions for not going crazy as I work through this?

The complainer

Don’t be the complainer.

You know the one, nothing ever goes right for this nurse. They are the ones that come in and start complaining before they even clock in. They always have the worst assignment. They always have the worst shift. Everything is always wrong.

Two total care patients that only really need repositioning? “OH MY GOD WHY DO I HAVE TWO TOTAL CARE PATIENTS????”

Four walkie talkie patients that are self care? “GREAT THEY ARE GOING TO DISCHARGE SOMEONE AND I’M GOING TO GET AN ADMISSION!”

Float to an easy unit with cool ass staff? “WHY IS IT MY TURN TO FLOAT???”

Go home.

Why are you even here? Why are you even a nurse? What did you expect from the health care field? No, our jobs are not a roses and sunflower fields every shift. Sometimes our jobs suck, horribly. Honestly though, if every shift is your worst shift ever and it’s like that no matter where you work… I hate to be the bearer of bad news but it’s not the job, it’s you.

I mean, you’re the common denominator here. It’s time for you to face the facts: you’re miserable at your job because you’re just miserable as a person. Maybe you should work on that…