A la carte

I work with different doctors almost every day. What I’m doing depends on the doctor I’m working with or which doctor I’m on the phone with at the time. It can be super frustrating.

Doctor A wants things done this way when they are in the department. Doctor B wants to do it a totally different way. Doctor C doesn’t care how its done as long as it’s done. None of the docs actually communicate their wants with the nurse until the nurse does it the way they don’t like. Oh, and Doctor D on the phone wants the test done with contrast but Doctor E ordered it without. As the nurse, I’m just supposed to make it work. It’s as if I should be able to read minds.

Sometimes it feels like doctors order from a menu when they give orders to nurses. A little of this, some of that, a few of those… I just wish we could all get on the same page. Let’s pick a method and stick with it. Why is this so hard?

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OR 4

I’ve been shadowing in the pre and post op unit for the last week. I am still a radiology nurse but I’m up here learning a few things. In MRI we give some of our patients propofol to sedate them so they can tolerate the scan and then we recover them afterwards. My department has me floating in PACU to evaluate how PACU recovers patients to see if there are things we need to bring back to our department. I’ve been enjoying myself so far. Today I am following the sedation nurse. We are in OR 4.

OR 4 is where they are doing all the abortions today.

I wasn’t prepared.

I have no children and have never been pregnant. I have no desire to have kids. Honestly I’m not fond of them. I am pro-choice. I consider myself pretty liberal. I don’t judge women who choose to have an abortion.

I was still not prepared.

I’ve read about abortion. I know people that have had them. However, I have never actually seen an abortion and after today I don’t need to see anymore.

It’s emotional.

One was because of fetal deformity. Most were not. The reason didn’t matter. You could see the anguish in some of the faces of the patients. Some were stone faced and I couldn’t really tell how they were feeling. A 16 year old seemed not to really have a full grasp of what was really happening. One lady cried and expressed her feelings of guilt the whole procedure.

It’s was a lot to deal with.

The procedure itself was different than I expected. Mentally I has to steady my nerves to watch how the fetus was removed. Typically I stayed at the head of the table with the patient for their comfort… And my own. I tried to focus on the patient and not the procedure so I could keep my emotions out of it.

This is definitely something I could not do on a regular basis, if I could ever do it at all. This experience is something I definitely won’t forget.

I still remain pro-choice even after today. Now I understand what women go through not just physically but emotionally when having to make this choice. It’s so much deeper than what I understood.