Decision made…

So…

If you remember some blogs ago, I posted about applying for NP school.

I didn’t get in.

sad failure

I felt like sh*t. I felt small. I felt insignificant. I felt like a failure. I was super bummed about it.

Was…

You know how you make a plan and then allow the opinions of others to make you veer from your plan? Yeah, that happened. Let’s go back a little, shall we?

If you have been with me for a while then you know I have been wanting to go back for a Master’s degree for quite some time. I have bounced between where in the nursing field I wanted to specialize. I have had people tell me I would make a great teacher. I love teaching people about things I know. Teaching is something I have grown to really, dare I say, love. Months ago I was talking to one of my coworkers that has been a nurse forever. I told him about wanting to get my DNP ultimately. His response? “Great! Get your MSN in education and then come back here (the academic hospital where we work) and get your DNP! You’ll make a good teacher”. Prior to even talking to him, the “education” path had been floating around in my mind. I kept pushing it away because according to everyone else, that’s not the “money making” field. As far as most people are concerned, there’s no reason to go back to school unless it’s to get a degree that is going to make you way more money. Forget doing what I like to do. Forget wanting to make a difference in the medical field. Forget wanting to help others. Will it make me more money?

I got sucked into that mindset.  A DNP will make me more money and I need to get it now. Forget getting an MSN and then a DNP, that’ll take too long. Nope, I’m going BSN-DNP STAT!

I was introduced to a program that had the BSN-DNP option. Great! I expressed interest and quickly found out I did not have the GPA currently to do the DNP program.

denied

I could do one of the NP tracks though. Oh… Okay, I guess. I mean, I wasn’t really looking to be an NP but according to everyone else, it was the way to go. So I applied for the NP option. I filled out the application (3 times because the system kept losing it which was probably my first red flag), updated and sent in my resume, completed the essay, and got glowing references (which I ended up having to scan to my email to send to the advisor because the reference link wouldn’t link back to my application because of a glitch, second red flag), and I waited…

And waited…

And waited…

For four weeks.

And then the rejection email and the pity party.

So after all of that, I had to really sit down and think all of this through.

What do I enjoy doing? Where do see my career going? How do feel I can be the best benefit to others? What do really want to do?

I. Like. Educating.

DAMMIT SHAUNELLE, YOU’RE AN EDUCATOR!!!!

I am planning to start school in April. I got accepted into an MSN in education program at the same university that I obtained my BSN from. I should have my degree in about 1.5-2 years if I can buckle down and do this full time. I am not doing what everyone else wants me to do. I am not going for the big bucks (if I wanted big bucks nursing is probably not where I should have headed anyway). I am going to do what I feel is going to make me happy in the long run. It may take an extra step or two but I am going to do things my way.

 

 

 

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Resolutions

I want to start 2019 off with some nursing resolutions to help me guide my year. I am normally not a person that believes in the whole “new years resolutions” thing because I make the same ones every year and never stick to them lol! This is a little different. These resolutions aren’t about me losing weight or magically getting out of debt. This is me making myself a better nurse. So, here are my “resolutions” (I almost don’t even want to call them that):

  • I am going to make a conscious effort to stop complaining so much at work. I mean, I honestly work with awesome people and my job isn’t that hard.
  • I am going to join some sort of national nursing organization. I want to keep up with standards of practice that are being discussed.
  • I am going to start an NP program. I applied but I keep finding reasons that maybe I shouldn’t do it. I am going to do it dammit!
  • I am going to join and actually participate in one of our nursing committees. I always say I am going to join but I never really do.
  • I am going to start back riding my bike to work so I can get that first bit of exercise in. I actually used to feel invigorated when I got to work but I stopped because of an ankle injury. I have been using it as an excuse ever since.
  • I am going to try and get either my PCCN or my CCRN. I have done 5 years of critical care and I am currently having to do ECCO for progressive care so I might as well get some kind of certification.
  • I am going to try and make sure I provide more positive feedback to my coworkers. Everyone needs to be told they are doing a good job every now and then.

It’s not a long list but these are things I am going to try and carry with me throughout all of the year instead of giving up by the end of January.

I am curious to hear if any of you have some “nursing resolutions ” you plan on trying to carry out?

 

 

 

 

Step one

So…

I’ve done step one. I’ve applied to a nurse practitioner program.

I’m terrified!

Am I smart enough?

Can I handle this?

Can I afford this?

Is it worth it?

Will I be able to find clinical sites?

Is this the right decision?

This is a really big committment. A lot of my time and finances will be going into this and I wonder if I’m ready for it. I have been bouncing back and forth between career paths and decided that I can do what I would like to do with an advanced practice degree.

Patient education is my passion and I know that as an NP I will get the opportunity to try and make a difference. By working in the “clinic” setting I will be able to try and prevent admission to the hospital by providing care and education on their health. I want to stop patients from being observers in their health care. I want patients to be a participant in their care plans. An educated patient does better. I love when patients comes into my current job and tell me all about why they are getting their scan. It let’s me know they are involved in their health. Those patients area typically in better health than my patients that have no idea what’s going on.

I know I’m doing this for the right reasons. I just don’t know if this is the right time. Then again, when is the right time? I can always find a reason to not do something. Life is always throwing me curve balls. I might as well step up to the plate, swing with all my might, and hope to God I knock it out of the park!

Decisions

I think I finally made my decision about going back to school. I completed my bachelor’s degree last year and have been on the fence about getting my master’s degree. Is it worth it? What path should I take? I just couldn’t make a decision.

I think I know what I am going to do. I’m going back to school.

At first, I planned on either following an education or leadership path. I think that is going to change. I’m going to try to get into a nurse practitioners program.

After talking to lots of other nurses that are currently in school, nurses with their master’s degree already, and lots of research, I realize my career path is far more flexible if I have my advance practice degree.

I think I stayed away from the idea of an NP program because I had a very narrow idea of what nurse practitioners can do.

My views are changing. Being around a lot of wonderful NP’S in my career had shown me they do a whole hell of a lot. NP’S make a difference. I want to make a difference. I think I’m going to really give this a shot…

Motivated?

I’m strangely motivated to do a lot of nursing related things that I had no desire to do before. All of a sudden I want to go back to school to get my Master’s. I want to join our shared governance committee. I want to advance on the clinical ladder up to a Clin III. I want to cross train in other parts of our department.

What the hell is happening?

Where did I get all of this motivation from?!

Is… Is this what happens when you’re happy at your job?

I mean, honestly, these are all things I know I can do if I put forth the energy to do it. I’m still (relatively) young, unmarried, no children… I have the time so why not?

I need to sit down and prioritize all of these new goals. Time for me to become Super Nurse!

Wish me luck!